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hello 2.0.0.8

January 4, 2008

Hello to the new year!

Betcha those who’ve been reading had thought me dead or something along that line or perhaps gone from the writing/typing world.

Well sorta just because I haven’t really found the time to indulge in my own thoughts.

Lots have happened in the past 6 months or should I say in the year that has just passed us. Sometimes when I stop to reminisce, it’s like I can still think back to the times I was still in the Uni. Time do pass us by fast.

~+~+~

After graduation, I didn’t really set down to think on what I really want to do. In fact, it was more like finding a job in haste. Just trying to get an average paying one while I really decide what to do in the meantime. In that 6 months I’ve spent; meeting new people in a wholly different environment, learning things out of my league, learning to cope, learning to deal with people from all walks of life, managing relationships with people, maintaining them; on an occupation totally unexpected of me but I learnt quite a hefty. In terms of facing my fears. In terms of facing unexpectedness. Every minute on the job could be anything from known to the unknown.

Many people would think that this job wouldn’t require much and perhaps just facing the drone of picking up the damn phone, but once you’re in it, you might beg to differ. Well, at least this is my opinion of it.

I learnt to digest new information and find ways to relate them to people, no matter how hard it was trying to put across to them. Mistakes do come. But they don’t go unlearnt. I learnt to get better but the remuneration did not come along with it. Nor did the promised incentives. They said we would get ’em. But from the moment I started till date, there are those still left uncredited to me as of yet. It makes you wonder where your hard earned incentives all went into. Praises only came in when you’ve put across your desire to leave. Otherwise, you’ll never really know. Furthermore, if we weren’t being converted or have the shift added incentives, we were no different from beginners. Six months have passed but there was no increase or change. What more, they mentioned that there will be a cut and it’ll be a big one. They just can’t say when will it happen or whether will it happen. Yet, they find more to just cope with the bridging to the other side. Well, they don’t have to pay them much over there, that’s one thing everyone can see.

I love my colleagues. I love those whom have taught me much and I really appreciate all their help. Almost all those whom I’ve ever spoken to, there’s at least one good point to tell about. I can’t bear to leave them, not after all those little funny moments we’ve shared. Those little lunches, parties, etc. I respect them.

But the process of it all inside was just too much to bear with. The works of the whole industry within, it was too disorganised. We are bearing too much with the shit. And since the incentives weren’t being credited, I don’t see a point staying. What more with the cut, there would be this uncertainty. Why be cut when you can leave and find a better one elsewhere?

 ~+~+~

Back to square 1. One reason I left was because I realised it was one thing I wouldn’t want to live doing. I had others that I really want to work with, but it’ll be hard to start from scratch all over again. Seriously, I really can’t find something that I really want.

1. Writing (an interest I’ve always had but I’ve no professional experience nor studies)
2. Designing (same as the above)
3. Programming (as per what I’ve studied in Uni but only passe)
4. Typing (all time favourite: as long as I have a job that I can type in)

Queer isn’t it. I also won’t mind if I had a job that had anything to do with Math, simply because I’m so missing Math. Or should I just teach Math?!

I miss the times when we did Software Engineering in Industrial basis, where we had this major project to have a software designed for used within the Hospital management. I missed those moments too just because I miss programming in those kinds of projects. But other than that particular module, I have no other programming modules that I’m proud of. How sad is that?

If I just settled for a typing/clerical/admin job, that would simply undermine my qualifications (if I even had any…) and the remuneration wouldn’t be that much either. Now that’s the dilemma.

If I were to teach Math in a class full of students, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle it. Then again, what job doesn’t have its challenges aight? And this will be a bonded one, so I can’t just leave either.

Dilemma. Should I just get a 9-5 job? Get a part-time job and take up a course of interest? Now what?

 ~+~+~

New years bring new dilemmas. Or should I say rekindling old dilemmas. Haha. I am just so funny sometimes. Sigh.

By the by, it has been 9 months plus already. I did learn how to be with someone w/o killing him. Well, I tend to worry too much or have too little trust in someone. Once bitten, twice shy. Who doesn’t? He’s still such a dear to me. If only we could make enough together. I really want us to.

That’s why I have to bloody decide in getting a job! I already nagged him and he found one. Now it’s my turn again.

~+~+~

Been sleeping alot lately, eversince my leave break. Have had funny dreams. Most were to the extent of looking for something while out shopping. I think I’m just deprived of it. Making most of what I can dream of but can’t buy. Haha. By the by, now I’m just getting too poor. It’s not in yet. Even when I left so early, they haven’t credited mine yet. The nerve! They’d better credit along with the incentives too. Don’t know what the M is for if we brought up the incentive uncredited problem and they can’t answer for it. I seriously wonder what’s their status there for. Sometimes I dream of doing funny things to him. I wake up feeling so amused most of the times.

Oh, Christmas has gone and past yeah. So is the New Year. It wasn’t one I enjoyed really, what with me being sick all that. Yet he still stayed to accompany me, when I was sulking on him being supposedly out for Cpy outings with me alone at home. Understand he doesn’t have much either, with his being uncredited as well. So… there we go always at home, TV, eat, games, tease, sleep.

Seems boring huh? Hoping it’ll get better. Trying to cope with the problems together.

That’s enough thought indulging for a night. This is what happens when the indulging comes. Oh shucks. Good night!

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