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12 days later…

September 19, 2006

ID: Moodprints
Occupation: Avid Procrastinator
Current State: Lost


8, Friday: Met Twin for lunch at SC =)
9, Saturday: Met Cloud for dinner at RC
10, Sunday: Last person I’d expected to wish me happy birthday, H, rendered me speechless
12, Tuesday: Sh’s birthday
14, Thursday: SSB presentation. Received a present from K =) via F
15, Friday: Stayed up ’till late 8.33am to finish up with the UI
16, Saturday: Did manage to wake up to meet up with S for shopping and dinner treat from her at Orch =) Gave her an early pressie, though it was kept for a very long time
17, Sunday: S’s birthday
18, Monday: Had that consultation, tutorial from Silent Killer, and that feedback session

You know, sometimes it really brings you to think whether the people you’ve worked with, could actually backstab you or something. For instance, there’s always this thing called Peer Review for projects, to know about the team members’ opinions about one another. It’s really bothering me why was I the only one to have that feedback session even though most of the rest probably gave the same feedback as I did.

Was it truely because he wanted my opinion?

He was nice enough, though. To ask me not to read into too much of that other person’s words and criticism. Well, the fact is, I’ve learnt to ignore the person almost totally.

Isn’t it like too weird that person seems awfully too cheerful today? Hopefully the rest will also get the feedback session like I did. It only seems fair rather than just have my feedback. Also, it brings me to wonder, who actually told him about Human’s involvement in the IMF. I was awfully surprised when he asked us about that, that other day when Human already left for home. It’s like someone told on Human. IMHO, though Human’s tied up and everything, Human still willingly took up responsibility and stuff. Much unlike person whom just decree but not execute. Other people end up having to execute them.

I don’t know if my feedback actually got through, I do hope it does. Simply because I don’t trust person enough.

Person is a mixture of hypocriticism and dictatorship. One who always thinks his opinions and views are the best amongst ours. Especially when, after a certain one of us completes something and uploads the softcopy, this is what person says to piglet:

“I have to clean up his shit.”

Would a leader say that? A leader who doesn’t do anything except compiling what we’ve completed into one piece? The nerve person has.

I’m angry because person isn’t human enough. I’m angry because bro J, whom has helped person do some of the things that person is supposed to do, and yet not credited for it. I’m angry because piglet, whom supposedly person calls a friend, is actually the target of extra responsibilities; those that of person’s dumped onto piglet.

UI was supposed to be done by piglet, person and me. ‘Till now, it’s become piglet, silent killer and me. Person can only criticise and not help substantially. Even designs are done via pictures, instead of putting into the actual .html form. Like wth.

Enough of that. I think I’ll just concentrate on doing what I’m supposed to do, instead of dwelling on these thoughts. Bro J’s right.

Bro J’s a tad too nice, to the effect that I actually do feel as if I could lean on him for support sometimes. Or is it just me? I’m just hoping there’d be someone for me to lean on for support when I truely need it. Oftentimes, I insist on standing on my own two feet.

I’m tired. I’m tired of supporting myself.

I’m tired. I’m tired of figuring out what the others think of me.

I’m tired. I’m tired of worrying about others because of one person.

I’m tired.

Yet to depend on just Bro J to listen to me, is a tad selfish. He’s a selfless person. What if I can’t return the same sentiments?

It’s hard to trust new people to be your friends, when you have peer reviews. Damn, I hate peer reviews. I only use that when there really is someone that needs some good talking to. I already tried. Hopefully, someone else will do a better one.

I hate insensitive people. Always have and will continue to do so. It’s an inert reaction when I meet such people, to just be at total conflict. This is the worst one I’ve met thus far, because I’m obliged to work along even though I want to keep my distance.

I really need some human contact.

Someone hug me, please.

I’m losing faith in the people that I actually care for… If only they knew how I truely feel…

I miss poopoo’s conversations. Poopoo’s always somehow there to comfort me via poopoo’s own wacky experiences. Poopoo’s analogies never fail to amuse me. Poopoo, when will you be back? Sigh…

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2 comments

  1. hug u until ur eyes pop out


  2. -PLOP-
    dang… -rummages for my eyeballs-



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