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the will

August 28, 2006

There are times when you just feel like giving up.
There are those times when you just feel so deprived of praises.
There are those times when you get praised but you know that they ain’t true.
There are those times when you feel like you just have to get through it.

Getting through?

So, there are times when there are people who noticed without being told. These people give you that pat on the back, that rub on the head, that smother on the cheek, that belief, that you will get through it.

If only I could have more of those =/ Yeah well, I don’t really get plenty of human contact. So, when I do get one, you can see me blush all over. And it’s good to blush, simply because it means your nerves are working.

There are times when you’ve noticed that you can’t take it anymore. So you thought to yourself “hey! start cracking already… it’ll only get worse if I continue dragging it…

But you want to do so many things. You have so little time, so little energy.

You get yourself all happy and satisfied watching a full drama serial in almost 12 hours, catching about 6 hours of sleep in between. Then, you proceed to start typing a lengthy section of a proposal assigned to you to be done over the weekend. Well, since you woke up at about 3pm, you get yourself all washed up and full in the tummy. Oh, that was the interval of the drama time. After you’re done with the drama, you wished there was more. Sadly the second season only comes out next year. So, you start surfing around on the Internet because you couldn’t get your mind to start working. It wasn’t until 7pm then you started continuously typing for an hour. Then, you got geared up to play on the Clavinova, which you haven’t touched for a week or so. After playing almost anything on it, even those that were impromptuous playing, you got tired. Proceeded again to type for another hour or so because you have to upload it for your group mate KH to vet. Then you worked together with your group mate and even had some fun time chatting until you were done. You get all smiles on your face. Pity you didn’t want to try the web-cam. You feel accomplished because the drafts are completed. Then you went ahead to print whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to print for the whole week. When all came out pretty on the white papers, you go back to your seat and started sourcing out information for your Tuesday’s meeting. Then you get your mind set to refresh on Vectors. For now, you feel just great because you’ve now a lighter load.

The will. If you have it, you feel it. You get it, you win it.

****

Saturday evening was spent to celebrate L’s birthday at Swensen’s over at Orchard. I bet L enjoyed it because E hosted the surprise company for her. Cool.

It’s really nice to get surprises. If only I could even have one. I want a really big one. If not then, many small ones would do just fine. Sigh.

There were things that I would like to get off my mind about, but I think unnecessary to be noted. Quite unimportant anyway. I’ve decided that if something had the nudging nerve to bother me, I’ll just brush it aside and play ignorance. Think it works better for everyone that way. Don’t think too much into it, simply because.

Oh, if someone really remembers, then the someone will. Otherwise, I think I shan’t bother. I know myself not being able to make that much of an effort to meet everyone who means something to me, to tell them that they are remembered. So I guess, they might be feeling the same way too.

****

If something bothers you, just let it out. If you know you haven’t done something, do it. If you want something, go for it.

No regrets.

Failure is better than not trying at all.

The will.

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