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blank

May 3, 2006

The mind’s a tad blank today.

I did wake up late, as usual. Around 1-2pm. Hanged around the house — talked to A and J on MSN, played the Clavinova, read blogs, read profiles, read manga. Somehow or rather, I can’t get myself to study.

It’s the last paper. Tomorrow.

I feel as if something’s bothering me. But I can’t exactly pinpoint it out myself. Feeling a bit disoriented. Why am I so bothered?! Argh…

I don’t know what I’ll be doing after the last paper. I don’t know what to expect after the last paper. Simply put, I see blankness.

There have been instances of picturing the joy and fun after the exams, the fantasies, the dreams. But, reality just strikes you when you’ve snapped out of it.

What do I really want? Should I make the effort to have them?

You only live your life once, since no one can prove you can live another lifetime. So make full use of it. Live life to the fullest. I keep reminding myself of this motto each time I’d brush off a thought to go for it. But, there are times when I just have this conscience telling me “you don’t want to regret doing it…” Argh. But, if I don’t do it, will I regret it to a greater extent?

Am I serious about it? Or is it just another fleeting thing…

Should I do it? Or just let it pass me by…

Should I tell? What if I don’t get a favourable reply…

So many questions but no one can give me answers. No one can predict for me. No one can say it’s right or wrong. Cos’ it’s my life? What do I really want out of it?

Do I have to answer my own questions? I hate asking. I hate answering. But I’d really appreciate getting the answers.

Actually that’s exactly how my study pattern is like. You can just imagine it, if you’re like-minded enough to know it, of course.

I don’t know how to answer myself.

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2 comments

  1. Go for it (whatever it may be), some things don't come around twice. Sometimes we all need to take a little risk.

    mp: Thanks 🙂 In the meantime, I think I'll go about summoning up my courage. Lol.

    PS: maybe I should leave comments to be non-moderated =_= haha


  2. Michael O'Neill: Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just…
    Julianne Potter: Passes you by…
    Michael O'Neill: Passes you by…

    – My Best Friend's Wedding

    need i say more?

    me: well… I'm kind of having my doubts — about myself and the reasons why I'm hesitating. I don't know whether I should even be having these meddling thoughts o_O



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