Archive for May, 2006

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apologies; money

May 30, 2006

Apologies mainly to myself for not doing what I preached.

Basically, procrastinating.

Anyway, I haven't been doing anything productive save for levelling my maple character. Asides that, have been out on a few occasions. When I say few, I really mean 1-3 times. Yes, I hardly go out. I only do so if there's an occasion for it or there's this juice in my upper grey matter that says "hey, go out already! go be around people and see new clothes or something…"

So, from the last update, I've been out for only 3 times, if I don't recall wrongly. Twin, did recommend me a job, but I didn't make a move on it. Don't ask me why. I really don't know the answer. There's just this gnawing feeling that I won't be doing anything that pays me money for the rest of my vacation. It's not that I don't need the money. I do need money to buy stuff. But, I only buy stuff when I feel the need to. Get the drift? Same concept as to when I actually step out of the house during this vacation.

Furthermore, I don't like the idea of doing something that makes you tired and brainless, just for the money. Working your ass off for the money. Doing something totally not you for the money. To sum it all, work for the money.

Since I don't need the money now, why work?

If anyone were to say, how about your future? Don't you need to save up? Well, yeah. I do have a little bit of savings. But, what use does it have if I were to be in a state of unable to use the money. For instance, dead? Or even, get money stolen from your account by I-don't-know-how-in-the-world-possible-way. After all the effort of saving the money, stabbing your cravings of being a spendthrift for countless times, controlling your budget, where does the money go?

Why have so much money, when you have no use for it?

To create the impression that you're rich? That you own the asset: money and you can buy anything possible? To be able to live in a peace of mind, since money can buy you anything you need in the future?

What if you died? What happens to all the dreams that you have of spending that money? Where's the meaning to it?

Was your life worth living?

Well, money can make dreams come true. But what if you lack the time?

Money cannot fulfill certain dreams. But, money is still the means of surviving in this money-ruled world. Can't we just live without money?

People pay. People earn. People spend. People buy. People bribe. People bet. People print. People beg. People yearn. People rich. People moderate. People poor.

Where does money ultimately go to? I really wonder.

Heaven? Hell? God? The core of Earth?

Money can perish, you know.

Why live for money?

That aside, I've been having long weird living_the_dream kinda dreams. Perhaps, it's because I sleep for too long hours. Maybe, it's just me. There are too many of them to recount. Nothing of significance if no particular familiar was inside it. Either that, or I really can't recall. The brain deteriorates when you don't exercise it. It happens during every vacation.

At least 2 months left.

Please stop procrastinating.

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daylight

May 22, 2006

You wouldn't believe this.

I've finally seen daylight! Yes, at this early morning hour, when Sis has gone for classes and all. I have none, of course. Mama waking up to prepare breakfast for Sis and getting her all packed up…

Me eating breakfast…

There's a catch.

I haven't slept for the whole of last night. Haha!

I'm serious.

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absence: rotting; shoes; deliberation

May 18, 2006

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

 Yeah right.

If anyone thinks me dead or gone into oblivion, it’s not time yet. By the by, the big gap of non-posting is mainly because my grey matter, the top one, is rather dry and out of juice. There have been so many instances where I wanted to type in something, but I just chose not to. Laziness.

I’m officially rotting. I want a decent easy to work with job, but unable to find one. Anyway, today at 10am I’ll be doing one back in campus. It’s a one day stint. That’s thanks to Ll. Other than this one, I guess not for the time being.

I have spent most of my life the past few weeks, sleeping. Don’t ask how I did it. I did. It’s like I can just lay in bed and doze off, wake up look at the clock, doze off. A sleeping machine. If I could make money out of sleeping 12 hours a day, I’ll be rich by now.

Because of this lack of posting and lack of waking up to see daylight, I have lost track of the days. I don’t remember anymore today is what day and date.

This is bad. I have to see daylight. Otherwise, what I’ve been wanting to do during the exam period, would never surface to exist. Then there’re also these other thoughts about what do I really want out of my life. If I don’t work, what should I do to make most out of the time I have. I really don’t feel like working, though it will be good for the resume. On the other hand, I don’t feel like doing anything, though it will be a plain waste of my time on Earth. Why are we even born to live on Earth? No one can give me the right answer. What is right? What is wrong?

If you can tell me, I’ll just tell you that it’s your perception of What is right and What is wrong. Any other human can have a different perception. Still, the bottomline is the answer is lined by perception. Is there anything that isn’t defined along this line? Everything is defined by way of our judgment. If we don’t judge, we don’t give a perception. Thus, we can’t define the subject. So, is there anything that is beyond what has been said?

Don’t talk about religions or scientists. They, too, have their own perceptions. Is there anything that doesn’t have to be judged as right or wrong?

This question will never be answered, in my humble opinion, of course. Again, perception. Come to think of it, whatever’s said seem to contradict one another. All because of words. Words. How did the human race actually come out with words?

So many questions I ask. Left unanswered.

Anyway, I was left to rot. I haven’t been doing anything fruitful with myself, except perhaps to maple (Maplestory), think of new compositions to play on the Clavinova, watch the black box and live in dreamland.

Sidenote: I tend to lull myself when I play the Clavinova…

Speaking about dreamland, I’ve been to plenty of places. So many different dreams that they seem so real to me, I’d thought I was awake. I’ll elaborate some other time.

I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in one meal.

I sleep at 6-7am and wake up at around 5pm. Twin has told me it’s unhealthy, but yeah, I am trying to kick the addiction. My bioclock’s totally screwed.

I tried to wake up at 9am last morning and ended up blinking and dozing off again. It continued ’till an hour or so until I heard my Mama go “breakfast’s on your table… I’m going out for a bit” and then the next moment it was noon time. Mama crashed into my room countless times trying to wake me up cos’ we’re supposed to go out and meet Sis. In the end, I did wake up at around 1pm, but Sis ended up changing plans to evening. So, in the end, I did wake up, eat, watch the black box, chat with Mama, played the Clavinova, looked at my lappie, went to look for home typing jobs online and dozed off again for about an hour or so. If only there was a job, where I could do in my sleep… 

Bought shoes! Finally found the size. Converse shoes only fit me in size 3.5! Believe it? Better do so. I was thinking it was still quite big in the front and the guy went

Well, that’s the smallest that we have. Any smaller than that you’ll have to wear the kid’s shoes already…

At least he didn’t laugh or anything. Mama and Sis did. Tsk!

Anyway, the sales guy’s cute 😀 He’s so amiable and tends to you just as you browse the shop. The other two guys were like slacking time away and like Mama said

Just waiting for the time for them to knock off!

Bad sales people. That guy was doing all the work: asking after customers, greeting them with a smile, etc. He’s nice and he walks as if he’s hopping. That’s when my Sis said

Cute, right? He walks with a hop! Haha…

She observes the weirdest things. Then again, I’m like that too.

Oh, this is like the first time in a long while, I went out. Hahaha. I did go out with Twin the other day. Think I’ll backpost that one.

Saw S on the black box at 9.30pm on Chan U, like she said. Now, I know what she went there for.

Haven’t heard from F and Sh, I wonder if they’re tired or they’re busy. I keep forgetting to text them :/

Have plenty of things in mind to do but haven’t gotten around doing them. Procrastination in play. I hope I unscrew my bioclock in time.


Was deliberating about it. Should I bother to update all the other people, who ever cared to read what I wrote, about this space? Or should I just forget about it, since they never asked…

Should I bother publicising this space, just so people know I exist? Or just leave it as it is.

I’m feeling half-hearted.

Part of me wishes that the people whom I care about would read this space, should I tell them about it. To understand me for me. Yet, I did that before and majority didn’t bother. Just who in the world, bothers to read lengthy pieces of text, when they themselves don’t write their own. They won’t bother. Usually those who read, are those who also write.

Part of me wishes to keep this space as it is, unknown. Largely anonymous, where people only know me by what I write. Anonymosity is good when the parameters for judgment lessens. People won’t judge you by your identity, location, study, etc. They will still judge you for what you write, though. But, words can don’t mean everything. Ambiguity.

Sigh…

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idling; backtrack

May 8, 2006

I've been gone eversince my papers ended last Thursday. Well, can't say I'm confident of that last paper because some of the questions that came out really had me pulling my hair. Added to that, I'm already not that great in the concerned subject. So, I'll just have to chuck the thought "shit! I did that one wrongly. shit! I couldn't finish that one. shit! I should have studied that chap…" at the back of my mind until the results are out. Anyway, what's done can't be undone, can it?

I say the same things, exams after exams. Lol. At least this time, I'm rather cool about it.

Remember I mentioned how I only see blankness for me after the exams? Well, more or less that way. I'm just waiting to see what appears for me to do each day. The thought of having to search for a part-time job again irks me — the interviews, that is. The thought of having to work with possibly unreasonable and bias managers again irks me — due to a past experience. The thought of getting tired just for the experience and money again irks me. But, like my twin says "it's better to furnish your resume" and if I don't do so now, it'll be a little too late after I've graduated. Since by then, I'd really appreciate a better job.

If only I could really idle all day. For now, I can only idle for a short period. Some things are still unconfirmed.

The last 3 days have been spent out. Had the greats and not-so-greats.


Friday

Evening was spent out with Gg, Mh, Ll, and a couple of others. Cos' I spent the most time with these three. We were supposed to meet up at 6.30pm at Cine. I'd thought I was late. In the end, I only saw the mentioned three. I was late cos' the bus took such a freaking long time to arrive — 4 238s = 1 232. Went to J8 first to have a name chain done for *Gg and this, too, took a long time since there're a few other customers who ask so much and yet don't buy anything or buy so many things and still ask for so many customisations.

*Gg is a nickname given to G for the convenience of understanding what G stands for in texting and online messaging. Apparently, he isn't called Gg, literally, in reality. But, I took a liking to it and calls him Gg in person. Of course, he doesn't quite like the sound of it, but takes no heart of it. Haha.

So, I happily handed him the prize since it was his birthday on the 4th — as a mini gift from me. Of course, it was also a way to tease him of how I like to call him. He only saw the mini soccer shirt keychain at first and thought it harmless and was confused why the shirt had a 22 on it. The fact that he just turned 22 didn't quite occur to him =_= When he was finally convinced to take it out of the plastic and look at it, his reaction was classic…  

"What Gg?!?"

LOL! Then Ll burst into laughter along with me. I love the reaction 😀 Exactly the way I pictured it when I planned to buy it. Then he said this "I shall remember you for this" Haha, of course I replied "Aww I'm so touched, you don't have to do that"

Well, unless you're me or those who know the origins of him being called Gg, then perhaps you'll understand the joke. It was a classic memory. I love watching people's reaction when they've opened their gifts from me 😀

Then we waited for like 2 hours or so and the rest slowly appeared: M, J, W, I, P, K, E. So glad that M left after a while. Then I and W went to I've no idea where. W was weird enough dressing the way she did. Mh was weird enough putting me down whenever possible. Oh, and I don't know why he kept teasing E with J, when J seems so clueless about it. J was surprisingly fun. Of course, when the six of us; Gg, Mm, J, Ph, Ll and me; were at one table together, we had loads of laughter. It was too much to bear 'till I teared most of the time. I love the times when we can laugh like that and no one interrupts it. I don't like it when there are other people who interrupts it and gets all the center of attention all to themselves. Perhaps I'm just biased against those people but I really appreciate it when it's just like that.

All of us ate at Cafe Cartel and we had loads of laughter! 🙂 After different lame ideas of adjourning to where else, we decided to go for coffee. Then I and W left. I felt strangely comfortable that way. Then, K was strangely quiet too. Throughout our trip there, he didn't say much. Then, when we were looking for seats at the Coffee Bean, K disappeared. The rest said he went to the Gents. Strangely, when we failed to get seats and got ready to leave, K mentioned he will meet us later. Well, in the end, he didn't. I wonder where he went off to.

I just find them acting quite strange. Maybe it's just me, since I haven't really gone out with everyone else for the whole semester.

At Borders, I finally found out something else. This person I've detested for not being what he promised, is strangely attached. Of course, the rest knew about it. I just found it appalling. Haha, I wonder how his taste changes from the person he used to got so crazy about to this current one. Anyway, that's his business.

We ended up at the Forum's Mc, simply because there's no seats at every branch we went to. Talked for a bit. Oh and yes, everyone who's heard the piece I composed, likes it! They were astonished, however, that it was self-composed! -beams- I felt so happy when I heard their comments. All save for Mh's. I still don't understand why he loves putting me down. Bleah.

I shall give him a present that he will never forget! Bleah.

All of them talked and talked and talked. Until it got so late, I left in a hurry. Cos' Mama was angry. Cos' I will just miss that last train. Oh, I almost did. Haha, I brisk walked like I never did before and was in time for the last train!!!

And lucky I did just that. The guys got home by Gg's car. But the girls got home by E's dad's car. Imagine that. Inconsiderate guys. Cos' everyone couldn't fit into Gg's car. Oh well.


Saturday

Went out with Mama and Sis in the evening. Went to PP to actually buy ice cream. But that particular flavour wasn't sold. So, we thought to have dinner, since Sis was hungry, at Banquet. Banquet's food also wasn't sold — the whole food court's under renovation works. Tsk, what luck.

So, we went to buy cone ice creams and adjourned to Bedok, by bus. We did people watching, lizard watching, shop watching, etc. 'Till we reached our destination. Oh, after that we went to do a little bit of shopping.

One thing I don't understand is:

Why do the sales people like to stare at us as if suspecting that we're a bunch of shoplifters? Like, why the hell do we go there and look around to find something we really like, if we're shoplifters? Why the hell do we go so hard to find the right size for the ring, if we're shoplifters? Why the hell do we go exclaiming "hey, that's cute!" if we're shoplifters?

Just because we're of a different race, doesn't give you the right to keep staring at us, expecting us to steal something. It's rude. Why don't you look around the rest of the shop and look for real shoplifters? No life sales people. And that sales lady was so rude to like say "no, that one different price. only this one is the 1.90 one" indirectly saying that we're just after cheap nothings.

It wasn't until Mama and Sis got so fed-up being looked at like that and left, and I was left alone to choose ring sizes (we weren't in a jeweller's shop, just a regular accessories for ladies kind of shop, rings are those cheap $10 kind of rings..) and asked the sales lady in Mandarin, whether those rings I chose are of the same price. Then she started to speak politely and even helped me find which rings are from where. Like WTH. I was right about her attitude after all.

Just really appalled at the people's reaction sometimes. Oftentimes, their attitude never ceases to disgust me.

On the other hand, there was this other shop that we went to. Seemingly to get those fingerless gloves, cos' Sis thinks them cool 😀 I think them cool too. I'd think they'll be cool-er if there were half finger gloves. Ultra cool! So yeah, the shopkeeper actually invited us in to take a look, without expections and disregarding our racial difference. It was a Converse shop, but we were just looking for those gloves, not branded or anything. But, they still welcomed us so graciously. Now that's ideal customer service. Inviting you to explore their products with such hospitality, even though it's just a shophouse kinda house. As compared to that other shop, I'd love to go back to this shop any time. I loved this part, cos' the guy had this classic look:

"You can speak Chinese?"

when I thanked him after making our purchase 🙂

Then, we adjourned home by bus. I'd noticed something. In buses, usually it's not the young people who never give up their seats. Cos' they're either standing or they're seated in those very back seats ala the inconvenient seats for those elderly. It's actually aunties, who just chuck their very precious purchase at the inside seat while they sit at the outer seat of the two-seater. How selfish can they get? People of the same age, same race and they still refuse to budge and move in to give that seat occupied by their precious purchase to those who really need the seat. I mean, why can't they even share the two-seater?

I can't recall much as of now.


Sunday

Today, I agreed to go for some kinda business venture talk at H's workplace, with Sh. Before that, I agreed to go meet up at Pasir Panjang for the camp briefing. Somehow or rather, I don't really feel eager to go for the former simply because I've no interest in the area concerned. I'm on a job-hunt and I'd thought just go have a look or something. Still, there was this feeling that I can't see what will happen…

Anyway, I was late for the briefing cos' I underestimated the bus journey there. In the end, there was already a programme sheet printed out for everyone. Even this camp, I really had no feeling of whatsoever will come out of it…

The people in it were nice. They have a nice place. I like them as they are. I just don't feel comfortable with their practice. I respect their belief. I don't like the way they have it. Their habits changed once they believe.

When the briefing was over, we chatted and hanged around. We did plenty of talking in during the journey to RP. Coincidentally saw this Viet guy from school, in the bus. Had a negative impression of him from project work experience. Told them about it; F and Sh. They had plenty on their minds for the coming camp. Plenty of things to plan and get. Planned to go shopping at around 5pm to evening.

H was late for a good 20 minutes. I'd thought he was free for the day since he clearly texted me I'm free on Sunday, I can show you around somewhere along that context. But the free word was clearly there. But everything became twisted.

I'd asked about job scope? what's the job like, you know, what we have to do, the pay the time, etc. He'd replied can't tell you via handphone. it's hard to describe. maybe you want come down and see? It's a business. I didn't exactly know his definition of business. I didn't know he meant it to be multi-level marketing. I didn't know it appeared in the papers. I was looking for a job. As in a normal job, the kind where we can find for part-timers trying to bide their free time away. He didn't tell me all that. He only mentioned the latter when we were there. And when asked why he didn't say so earlier…

"You should ask me mah if you want to know something. What she tells you is only 50% of what I told her. You only know 50% of what she knows."

Hell yeah. Of course I only know 50% of it, when you only told me that much. I was raging with injustice but I couldn't bring myself to argue with him. I was supposed to be really angry. But, I was only annoyed.

In the end, we didn't attend that so called talk cos' Sh and F were in a hurry to do their shopping. Plus, what Sh said made sense. I'd thought that at first. But I don't know what made me agree to see him…

"Even if we attend that first hour and skip the most crucial part, the two hours after, it doesn't look nice. Plus, if we're not interested, we'll only show confused faces there…"

Hell I don't even know what MLM is about! K mentioned that it was an evil sort of business practice but I don't even have a head for business to understand what was he advising me about.

The conclusion to it: I felt bad. I felt bad for agreeing to go and then he has to answer to his mentor that his potential employees will not be attending. I felt bad for wasting his time to head down to RP. I felt bad for asking Sh and F along. It was that bad.

Even though it seemed as if he half-welcomed and half-shooed us about the talk, I still felt bad. I didn't really understand his gestures. I don't know what he wants, actually. He's a very big contradiction that time when we talked. He actually apologised, saying that he didn't know that we will be busy, thus not able to attend the talk in full. He apologised? I was then thrown into an entangled mesh of confusion.

I couldn't get out of it.

We went around shopping. I heard their views of his way of doing things. Of how his outlook on life is like. Somehow, I just can't see it in their point of view. I don't know why. I still respect his outlook on life, the way I respect theirs. F didn't quite like the changed H. Both of them seem disappointed with how he talked. I just had this feeling that the way he talked to them was somehow with a touch of annoyment than when he talked to me. Much like how he talked to me that time when he walked me back. That annoyed H, in every word he says, there's that punch of annoyment. Yet, at some point of time, he seemed the gentle person who just chats with you, as a friend.

I'm confused. I just listened and observed. Still very confused. Why is it that I feel as if he's hiding something? When there clearly is nothing substantial…

We went to J8 to get what they had to. Then Sh had quite a tiff over the phone. She apologised and explained a while after 🙂 I kinda understand why. Come to think of it, putting Sh and F together, they'll work better. Haha, I love them both just as they are.

We're just so tactful when we notice something. Female intuition? 😉

Like Sh predicted, both of us forgot about the shirt I had her keep for me before we left. Somehow, she recalled it and had to take the train back and forth to hand it to me >_<

The camp programme seems fun except for the said meetings, but there's a telling sign that I'll not be there somehow…

-~-

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01:02:03 04/05/06

May 4, 2006

Imprinting this just for the heck of it! Haha!

At this time, I was still arguing via texting with H, because he didn't answer my question. Plus, his replies came in such freaking long delays… One hour per text message.

Tsk!

Then I had a hard time sleeping, cos' I left the mobile's volume on — so that the alarm will ring at 5.30am for me, and thinking he won't reply already since it was so late into the wee hours. In the end, his replies still came and at the same timely delay. So, I couldn't really wake up in the end. My last paper's due soon…

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blank

May 3, 2006

The mind’s a tad blank today.

I did wake up late, as usual. Around 1-2pm. Hanged around the house — talked to A and J on MSN, played the Clavinova, read blogs, read profiles, read manga. Somehow or rather, I can’t get myself to study.

It’s the last paper. Tomorrow.

I feel as if something’s bothering me. But I can’t exactly pinpoint it out myself. Feeling a bit disoriented. Why am I so bothered?! Argh…

I don’t know what I’ll be doing after the last paper. I don’t know what to expect after the last paper. Simply put, I see blankness.

There have been instances of picturing the joy and fun after the exams, the fantasies, the dreams. But, reality just strikes you when you’ve snapped out of it.

What do I really want? Should I make the effort to have them?

You only live your life once, since no one can prove you can live another lifetime. So make full use of it. Live life to the fullest. I keep reminding myself of this motto each time I’d brush off a thought to go for it. But, there are times when I just have this conscience telling me “you don’t want to regret doing it…” Argh. But, if I don’t do it, will I regret it to a greater extent?

Am I serious about it? Or is it just another fleeting thing…

Should I do it? Or just let it pass me by…

Should I tell? What if I don’t get a favourable reply…

So many questions but no one can give me answers. No one can predict for me. No one can say it’s right or wrong. Cos’ it’s my life? What do I really want out of it?

Do I have to answer my own questions? I hate asking. I hate answering. But I’d really appreciate getting the answers.

Actually that’s exactly how my study pattern is like. You can just imagine it, if you’re like-minded enough to know it, of course.

I don’t know how to answer myself.

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how it was 2

May 2, 2006

Yesterday's May Day! A pity I couldn't post up one. It's becoming a trend — not posting up for the first day of the month.

Did I tell you about the break I took after my paper last Saturday? I played.

Pretty hopeless. When I reached home, there was the sofa, the laptop, the Clavinova, the tv, the shower, the bed, the food, the Mama, the Sis. Everything but the notes. Anyway, I was so relaxed, I kept mapling for the whole weekend. I had a whack of a time on Sunday night. My mapling counterparts are so -add in a fun adjective- that I couldn't help reminiscing before getting to sleep. I slept late as usual — 5.00am or so.

You know, when you play an online game with people you've never met before and you can just have fun together at any time of the day or night and be a friend, treasure that person. It's so rare to meet someone like that. Like-minded and everything. Like a long-lost friend or someone I probably knew in my previous life, if there was any to start with.

=)


May day, I couldn't wake up. I was supposed to wake up to study for today's paper. Instead, I got up only at around 3.00pm or so. There wasn't much studying done after all. Then again, I really couldn't get into the mood. It's like so dry. Business correspondence writing skills and what not. I had a hard time keeping myself awake to try and read through the textbook. In the end, I didn't cover much.

So, I didn't do anything much until night surfaced. Then, at midnight, I decided that I should just head to bed for a couple of hours and wake up at 5.30am to really study before the paper at 1.00pm.

Woe… I had a hard time waking up!!! It was torture to keep my eyes open. I finally got myself quite awake at around 7.00am and read some. To really feel the effects of awakeness, I bathed and got dressed. Continued to do the final online practice and got some things into my head. The rest were to be figured out during my journey to the examination hall.

Guess what I dreamt of in that short time span of less than 4 hours? I couldn't get to sleep — tossed and turned countless times. Thanks My for the "make you study!" nudge 🙂 And Sm and Mh (I was the one who disturbed him first).

This… I'm supposed to be having my paper now. I'm in a computer lab. Everyone's busy clicking and typing. There're five sections to be done. I remember our tutor mentioned that the last two sections are the simplest. The first three consume more time. But, I couldn't get my head up. Time is passing me by. I'm only at the multiple choice section. Time is passing me by fast! Panic! I can't finish it! -looks at the clock- There's only 2 more minutes to 1800 hours. How?!? "Time's up!" No!!! I have to log out. "Now, you, you and a couple of you there stay behind. I've got something to say." -the few of us who were called out, seemingly the ones who didn't finish it- "Sir! I'll help you with that!" -said an eager guy- I saw this idea bubble that came out of his head screaming, "maybe, he'll give me some sympathy marks for helping him out.." I saw S standing beside me saying, "I couldn't finish it… There was this part that…" I cut her off, "I only got to do 2 MCQ and nothing else! Not even one single section completed! What more you want to say?" I looked helplessly at my tutor Mr. G, hoping that he'll give me another go at the paper. But there was only a look of "I can't help you." I was in shock. This paper accounts for 50% of my grade for this module and I didn't even do it proper. I woke up.

And am glad that I woke up. It got too ugly. That paper I had a nightmare about was the paper I sat for today. I don't know why it was in the computer lab though =_= In reality it was a written paper, more writing to do. An English sort of paper. Then reality really started to sink in. I had to at least read something before I entered that hall.

I tried. I did.

Was afraid of being late. Luckily I was there just on time. For the first time this semester, I shivered in the examination hall due to the temperature. I tried. I really did. It took plenty of brain juice, coupled with the fact that I lack sleep. I have been nicknamed Pig because I require at least 12 hours of sleep a day.

During the last 5 minutes, I tried to squeeze a 300 word essay but to not much avail. In the end, I wrote an incomplete one. I tried. I did complete the rest of the paper, save for that first section. Hope, the markers won't get a shock and think that I only finished part of the first section =_= I started from the back cos' my brain works slow.

When it was over and time to leave, I headed straight for the ladies. Only succeeded, when I got to the third one. All other locations were sardines! Then headed for the bus.

Unexpectedly, S took the same bus as I did. We didn't really talk. Well, I was exhausted. She looked dead as usual. Maybe everyone looks dead during exams. Cos' when I first entered the examination hall, I saw A and he looked just as dead as S. I don't think I looked that dead, did I?

Anyway, the feeling of having only one paper left to go has sunk in. YES! Then I was happily heading to J8 to get the keychain I promised myself to get for P, before she leaves us. P's going back to Laos after her exchange this semester. Well, I may not have known her long or well enough, but I like her 🙂 And she's nice.

It's been a long time since I went to J8. It was like so surreal. I see so many kids (now I call them kids… haha) in uniform and I, too old for uniforms. Yet, I probably look as old as them.

Oh, backtrack a little bit. There was this guy in the MRT. He sat on the floor, at the conjunction part of the train. Another uniform kid. He also alighted at J8. Before that, he stood up and walked to the left of me. Quite a distance away, and at the corner of my left eye, I thought I saw something drop. But I felt no one making a move or anything. So I looked to my left and saw a spectacle's cloth on the floor, as he stepped away. Still, no one pointed it out to him or anything. So, I just went ahead, picked it up, tapped his left shoulder and handed it to him. He smiled his thanks. And it was the grateful one. To me it was nothing much. But, I was still wondering why didn't anyone who was sitting right opposite of him, picked it up or say anything at the least?!? I was standing like 2 arms' length away from him. There were four people — (_) (_)  guy   (_) (_) — seated, two at each side of him. People!

Okay, so I went to get the keychain made for P. Then went around window shopping and trying to look for more cute things to give her perhaps, but nothing seemed practical enough. Then I headed to the basement floor to get a sour-cream pretzel! 😀 I was famished from all the walking. Then headed out happily with the prize in my mouth. So happily eating, that I didn't see someone in red, waved his right arm in front of me.

Waved. I stopped. I walked. I stopped. I looked back. I stared. Eyes widen. Actually I was feeling as if I got caught red-handed for eating. Haha! Don't ask me why. I just felt that way. It was J.

I think I know why. I more than half expected to meet him there but I really didn't think much of it. Another premonition made. I'm a freak. We chatted for a while and then left. He looks a tad skinnier though.

Still, it felt great seeing him. I can't describe it. Haven't seen him since the last time all of us met for the badminton game. That was like 20 Feb, I think. For once, we talked like we haven't met for ages. Haha, so fun. But I still felt the shock… Beats me.

Oh, there was this night market that Sis mentioned was around last Sunday. In the end, when we got there, there was none. So, we ended up shopping at the convenience store nearby. We haven't been there since like aeons ago. Plus, eversince we moved when I was 11, we haven't gone there often. Plus, we graduated from Primary already. Lol. So, it was like reminiscing old times, when we were still kids. But, I can't understand why people like to look at us, when we didn't even look at them. More like stare at us. It's like Mama, Sis and me were having our regular conversations, of course in English, and each time either of us said something, people turned their heads to us. Like hey, we're in a neighbourhood market area, and they have a problem with us or what? People!

Oh, it's like this. I took 88 back and then… That night market's around! LOL. I rang Mama up and laughed. I really wanted to laugh all the way back home, but I held it back lest people think I was nuts or something. But yeah, today's series of events really had me by surprise.

It was a nice surprise though 🙂

Headache has soothed, thanks to Panadol Extra!

PS: Twin, hope your lappie gets well soon! Lol! For a second, I really thought you were turning into a Houdini apprentice 😉