writing; ambitions

April 27, 2006

There's always this thought "who's going to read this?" Why the thought?

"Cos' I'm not a Somebody."

Yet, if you give it some thought, what is your real purpose of writing something in here?

  1. I just wanted to be heard.
  2. I wanted to share these thoughts.
  3. I wanted to try out writing.
  4. I wanted to track my memories and mode of thinking.
  5. The main reader is me.

Those are my reasons. Yet, in the past, there was this other dream that I wanted out of writing in here. That my writing could turn out to be something. Something that I could earn something out of. I guess not, in this life.

Keeping track of my so-called ambitions:

  • publish my poems; to be a poet
  • sketch, paint; to be an artist
  • sing; to be a singer
  • play the piano; to be a pianist
  • design; to be a web designer
  • photograph; to be a photographer
  • communicate, journal; to be in the media industry
  • scrapbook; to be a real-time scrapbooker

And the list goes on, each time I'm faced with a new subject I learnt or faced with the option to study it, the ambition strikes hard. Imprints into my mind. But do any of them seem feasible enough?

It's either I didn't get the opportunity to study the related subject, without the funds to support it, without moral support or without time.

When will I be able to carve something out that I really aim for? I'm not quite so sure either. It's just that a few days ago, I came across this blogger and she's a really avid writer, from what I've read. So she started this little project called Project Pink, to start a collection of entries from any interested female writer, to publish and market. To think that someone has that strong an ambition to start a movement. I mean like, yeah.

Would I do something big like that?

I'd think no, simply because I don't have that much zest for it. But since I was in secondary, I've always dreamt of publishing my own book. It's a rather unique book, because of the way I wrote it. I don't even know if it's the legal form of writing or, not. I don't even know why people would bother reading it, anyway. But I still keep those writings. It's just that I really wish I could see that book on the shelves, being appreciated for the uniqueness that it is.

I'm not just any somebody. But everyone can be a somebody, can't they? It just takes a bit of trust, time and effort.

Can you actually try your shot at everything and still be the best at it?

People say "why be a Jack of all trades, but a Master of none". And yet, I always want to try to do everything but still be the best at it. I don't want to be just mediocre, especially if it's a subject of interest. I don't want to just survive through it and get it over and done with. If I like something, I'd want to achieve the best for it.

Can I do all that in a single lifetime?


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