living the dream

April 18, 2006

Have you ever wondered whether dreams are just for the sake of being there or they actually mean something more?

Have you ever dreamt of something, yet it didn't seem like just a dream?

Have you ever lived a dream?

Not the dreams that you make in the day and live the dream to mean realising the dream. But the dreams that you have when you sleep, and you just don't want to wake up from them. Not those wishy-washy dreams. But those that you wish you could have slept longer to discover more from them.

Last night, I had a huge series of dreams. Not those weird funny dreams. But dreams that involved the people and places I know. It wasn't really anything that I fantasized about, cos' the series of events that happened in the dream were really unexpected of. I don't recall myself thinking about them. Yet, it seemed so surreal.

It was as if I was living the dream and that I wasn't just dreaming. I slept for very long hours and didn't realise it. As in, I didn't wake up abruptly or anything. When, I did wake up due to my alarm, I continued the same dream without a problem. It didn't feel tired to oversleep, as if it didn't matter if I didn't wake up.

scene 1:

A bunch of us were talking. Seemed as if there were me, A, J and a few others, whom I don't recall. I know them, but because they didn't say anything, I can't remember who exactly were they. We were supposed to go to B. Timah (or so I recalled…). I don't know whatever for, but it so seems we were supposed to hang out together there. But, when we met up, it was at somewhere else, and we had to head there. I don't know why, but we went our separate ways. In the end, I was in a cab with J. I don't really know why so. But I saw A waving at us as we pass by and him saying something. Maybe it was just me thinking "what would he think if he saw us in a cab together?" Yeah, I was literally thinking it. Plus, I was quite surprised that J took it non-chalantly. We were at the passengers' seat, I was sitting by the left window of the cab, and J to the right. And I only recalled just after I settled down, J sat right beside me. I was surprised of course. But J seemed cool about it and continued chatting as if it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Somehow it got to the point where we were supposed to go back to J's place and get badminton racquets, before joining the rest of the gang. Why was I following?

scene 2:

I was with H. I don't know where we were or why we were there. But, we were eating. More like letting each other feed the other food and enjoying it. It was a peaceful setting, just absorbing everything in.

scene 3:

It's supposedly in a school. I don't recall what the place was, but it was dim and dark. We were made to go watch the movie in partners. I already had a partner, but my partner turned up with another friend. In the end, we went in as a threesome. I'd thought that my partner was Xp. Yet, the recollection seems vague. When the show ended or something the likes of it, I think she left for the ladies. And then there were these people (probably the disciplinary peeps) rushing in and telling everyone "no one is allowed to leave…" until, I don't know the movie or homework related to it was done, or something the likes of it. So, there was this huge crowd trying to escape. A hoard of people were in chaos at this very wide staircase. I was in a loss. I lost my partner too. I ended up upstairs, in a room. Yet, there were this Mly people all in the same room and seemed anything but friendly, and I heard someone shouting orders. So I left in a huff. Ran downstairs… I don't know how I came upon this other room. There were Af and Hf. They seemed as if they were about to sleep, on thin matteresses. I was really comfortable in their presence, though. Then suddenly came St. But I don't know why was St there. Then St was asking me to do a favour, something along the lines of doing something with her. But St didn't clearly elaborate about it. Then we broke into an argument because I wasn't willing to do St the favour. I was thinking "it's only for your selfish gains, now then you find me". It was a pretty heated argument, to the point where I state all the reasons why I'm not willing. Then came a teacher. Looked like the Mly teacher I had in upper secondary. She explained that we had to go somewhere for this favour that St asked me. St wanted me to accompany her. But I exclaimed "where were you when I needed a partner for the movie we were supposed to go to?" I was really upset. I even exclaimed her name in full. But Af and Hf didn't say anything to it. They just left me alone in one corner of the room. Af, consoled S. But it's because Af likes St. They didn't say anything and just slept…

And that was it. I only finally woke up at about 1+pm. It really didn't seem like just a dream. It was as if I lived my life through the dreams.

The first two scenarios seem realistic enough, since they were the people I really hanged out with. They were the people whom I was closer to. But the last dream was awfully ridiculous. In reality, St isn't my close friend at all, not even a real friend at the least. She's more like just a Mly classmate and that's all. I don't talk to her like I do with my real friends. More like just an acquaintance. And, I don't even at the least think about her. And what boggles me further is that they were all Mly people. I don't particularly like my Mly class, nor fancy the people in em. Just a few of them are perhaps likeable to me. The rest, I really give up knowing. It's more like I lived in someone else's dream, for this one.

It's really confusing, but it felt so real. I recalled myself arguing with her, like how I do argue with people in reality. It felt awfully real that it's as if the argument really took place. I don't know when or where. But, it did.

About the other two scenarios, I'd never imagined we would go to B. Timah just to play badminton. Or was it some other faraway place on our island… I only know it was a place I know, yet not a place we would go for such an occasion. And, I only shared a cab with J, seated beside J, once. And that was with Y too. So what the heck was that? And, since when I would be eating with H in that manner?!? Plus, I couldn't see anything else, but just us feeding each other. It felt comfortable. But, the dream's really freaking me out, now that I'm awake. And, how come the dream was so short? It's weird as it is, that it's short, which means I can't decipher anymore out of it. It is as it is.

Argh! Why do I dream so much?!


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