Archive for April 17th, 2006



April 17, 2006

Hanging on the brink of wants and musts. Or is it not o_O

Okay, I wanted to write about lotsa things but it was fated that I can't do anything online via my lappy since Saturday night to the whole of Sunday. I was very much devastated I tell you.

It doesn't end there. Sunday was our proposed day to meet out for dinner. Apparently the weather didn't look the least bit promising, coupled with the fact that such weather may well spread through the whole island, without mercy. So it did. So did our plan falter too. I was so devastated and very much confused. It wasn't suppose to be postponed just like that. Well, at least I still hoped for a small group to go out and dine together. She cancelled it just like that.

  1. I was angry
  2. I was confused
  3. Very very much muddled

I didn't understand why. I mean, after all the effort, why postpone it just like that. I never expected it at all. At least, I was still in the mind of meeting up with people. But no intuition told me that it will be cancelled. I was awfully taken aback. After the gruelling weeks before, I was really looking forward to Sunday.


Added to that, suddenly K got invited. So that makes for the 4 us, confused people. When she finally appeared, she broke into tears. For a short while and assured us that she was just tired. Like hey, if you're tired you wouldn't cry. You'll just be exasperated to the point where you heave a big sigh and probably a few drops of tears trickle in relief, when you get a breather out with friends. Ain't that the case?

I don't know but the 4 of us were still muddled. We don't know what's wrong. We don't know why her mood was sour too. I mean, if she wasn't all that great with contacting the people out and stuff, could have just said so from the very beginning. Then perhaps, I wouldn't have asked her to help out at all. Was kinda doing it for all of us. Not all for myself. 

Asked her how come she was late, and she mentioned that she was still with her friend. Just too weird. I don't know if it's my fault. My text messaging can be misinterpreted sometimes. But, yeah, not as if she doesn't know how to interprete them after all these years, doesn't she?

And she won't tell what's wrong. If it wasn't anything much, she wouldn't have asked him for a favour by asking him along. That was already odd, to start with.

What's wrong man? I'd thought we'd share problems with each other, if we had any. Now, you're like holding it back. You did look tired, but to the point of not eating dinner? That was never the case. If only you would just say it out. You'll feel much better you know.

I only hoped that a bunch of us could enjoy the rare company yesterday. Talk and have fun or something. I didn't think for it to end up anything like it did.

Okay, all my deadlines and assignments are gone! Yes. But I'm still hanging. I just recalled that I haven't handed in my green book. But it seems almost impossible to do so, what with this endless rain, day in day out. It's really annoying. Yes, we needed rain, but not this much?!I really wanted to lay off the stress and have myself know that I'm still alive and breathing by meeting people out. But, yes, everyone's telling me that it isn't the right time cos' exams are just round the corner; ala this Saturday. But, really, I wouldn't want to think of it, until I've got it into my head that I should be studying. Argh.

I'm just hanging. I don't know what's causing me to hang, but yeah.

Oh yes! I had a nightmare last Saturday night…

I was being pulled by some force, at left hip. Just being pulled and I see nothing pulling me. Then the faces in front of me were just there in horror and shock. Yet, some was kinda calm, much more of surprise. I don't know what to make of it but I do know that it really freaked me out…

To the point where I woke up. Yeah, I was really shocked to have such a dream. Never before was it this weird…

Yeay! My Sis is back! Haha…