h1

losing way; him

April 6, 2006

5th was I's birthday. 6th is abang's birthday 🙂 happy a quarter of a century!

I've just come to realise I don't really talk much about studies unless it's something peculiarly interesting or about meeting deadlines or about people in it. Anyway, everyday seems the same to me. Took that bus back home, and this guy sat beside me. He's huge. I mean huge huge. He fell asleep throughout the journey. When the bus rocked, he rocked too. Can you imagine how afraid I was? Imagine. Most amusingly was, he got off the same stop as I did. What luck.

Okay back to the point. I had a really huge dream last night (Tuesday night). Before I fell asleep for the night, I had a nap before attempting my lab assignment. I was kinda afraid that I'd sleep through 'till neglecting my assignment. So, I dreamt about the assignment. Yet, there was another assignment embedded in the same dream. It was a nightmare. Extracts of code fragments were all over the place. Flooding my mind. Flooding my dreamland. I couldn't even nap in peace. I woke up.

Then I finally slept at about 2am.

I don't know how it started. But the place looked peculiarly familiar. I was in this certain building. Seemed like it was a room, there were staircases leading to other rooms. There's this feeling that I've been here before. The room structure was just all too familiar. The red velvety carpet and all. I dreamt of the room before. I got lost in that particular room. This room, I was looking for a way to somewhere. I don't know where. I only know I kept walking. Walking, almost running, perhaps. I can't recall the pace, except that I was kept on the move. I was looking for something, but I had no idea what. I can't recall. I don't know how but I came upon H standing there. One second, I thought I saw him standing them. Another, I thought I was communicating with him via something and that he was not physically there for me to see. I thought I was texting him or something along that line. Or perhaps, emailing? Then, I was away for a while and then went back to check for new msgs. As if, I was msn-ing him or something. Anyway, I went back to read what was there. Turned out to be one quite long series of msgs. It was him telling me things. There was one, which I noticed him mentioning about him moving. He was moving to a certain house named … (I can't recall it) and that it was in Jurong. I don't know why he went all the way to Jurong, but there was some relation in that with school. Somewhere along that line, he mentioned about something related to me. I just can't recall what it was. And he was telling me quite a lot about himself. I thought it was just messages, but I remember later I saw him. I saw him talking to me. Then, I can't remember what happened after that… I only know I wasn't so lost as before. I stopped moving so much.

One, H couldn't be moving to Jurong. He just moved recently! And it's in Hougang!

Two, the same room keep appearing. I remember that very room, I got lost trying to get out of that place. I took the stairs up and I thought I saw my tutor or something before. I got around and I thought I was in a nurse's room before. There were so many instances around that room. It's like I keep getting around from that very room. The structure of the room's the same everytime, though the colour and the background may differ. It kinda creeps me out. It's like I have a starting point to getting lost. Or, seeking something. Or finding a way to something and found it.

Three, I don't know if I recalled the conclusion correctly. It's like I found something at the end of it.

Argh. Why was I woken up so abruptly by my alarm clock?!? I really wanted to know the ending. I wanted to know what did he want to tell me so much about.

Oh strangely I had another dream along with that too.

I was in school? I can see students around. We were in the building. Running away with all our might from a giant tiger. The tiger was chasing everyone. But, we were told not to get out of school. Everyone was to stay within the school boundaries. But, I thought it was utterly ridiculous. Since there were so many people, it'll bound to cause confusion, so I took my Sis with me and sneaked our way out of school. Ran all the way out. I thought I saw some people follow suit. Then, I think we took a cab or something. I forgot bits of the commotion. I thought I saw some familiar faces from school sneer at us. They reminded me of people that I didn't trust or people who betrayed my trust before. Seemingly as if they wanted to expose our escapade. I can't recall the rest of it.

One, it was awfully scary to run away from a giant tiger. I don't think this is the first of it. This one seemed awfully familiar. Escaping from something big and dangerous? The tiger seemed familiar too.

Best part was, one presentation today had the T.I.G.E.R mnemonisation in it. Freak!

Two, the only time I was in the same school as my Sis is primary school… She did seem small in my dream. Interesting.

Three, those people who bullied us… They seemed all too familiar. Are these people coming back to hurt me or what?

So many questions. Unanswered. Did I really find what I was seeking?

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