journal archives

February 26, 2006

Since the loss of my previous journal, it has been kinda hard for me to not try and think about what I’ve written. Cos’ I know it will not be the same. Writing, thus journalling, has always been kind of impromptuous for me. It’s at the moment, almost instantaneous kind of writing, where my train of thought at that particular point in time would be so clear and well directed.

So I didn’t want to try recollecting, unless I can obtain the actual form. As the thoughts would be different.

So, there were useful tips from other diarists that our lost entries could be salvaged from the cache in the various search engines, provided the entries had been searched for, before. I’m lucky to say that some of my most recent entries were around. There were some that weren’t cached, probably because they’re not old enough for it yet. To my disappointment, those few entries were those that really had my poems. The ones I was thinking of archiving into another of my personal poetry collection. Sigh.

Well, at least I still have most of what’s now gone. Think I might just store them up here one by one, as and when I’m free. For the now, I’m just glad that not all of it was lost.

There had been a reason to title my posts as Post XX: … figuring I could classify them into entries of the year 2006, where Posts stood for my journal entries and Takes stood for the poems I wrote. I wanted to keep a count too. Eversince I lost count from the journal loss, I left Post XX without a number for the XX, hoping all could be recovered and I wouldn’t have to move elsewhere. Sigh.

I don’t know if I should continue classifying them like that, or just go back to normal journalling.

Infuriating. To think I had it all worked out already.

Why do plans have to keep getting shortchanged? Now plans have to be remade.

I’m so not looking forward to lessons anymore. The zest is just lost. There’s no meaning to it all.


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