Archive for February 24th, 2006

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WORST day; just because you’re old doesn’t mean you’re God

February 24, 2006

Today has been utterly the worst day of my life. Friday. And it’s not even Friday the 13th. I utterly detest today. I detest myself, too, for not following my instincts, even though they weren’t all that clear.

I had this thought that that other group member of ours won’t be coming for our early morning meeting. I wasn’t wrong.

I had this weird feeling that I wouldn’t be able to see my Thai tutor today, and I was right. Instead another tutor took over. The actual one’s probably still on holiday or something of the sort. I wasn’t all that surprised as I should have been. It felt comforting, on the contrary. I felt so much more comfortable with this other tutor.

I signed up for this free workshop by Macromedia on Flash Animation. Being interested on the subject, I was actually looking very much forward to it today. After countless deliberation on whether to skip my one hour lecture to attend this two hour workshop, I finally gave in to my interest.

Apparently, even after 45 minutes of waiting, the projector screen was blank. People, who filled the lecture theatre, kept leaving. The number of heads I see, kept decreasing. Still, there was no explanation of whatsoever as to why we haven’t gotten what we’ve been promised. Until almost an hour since the supposed starting time of the workshop, finally someone from the Administration, walks in and announces that Macromedia has cancelled the workshop very much earlier but did not inform the NUS students. Is this what you get from a corporation or event administrator? How can you cancel an event and not even have the slightest decency and politeness to not tell the promised audience? Furthermore, their workshop has to be registered for, before attending, to ensure you will not miss out on the workshop. But No. No emails. No announcements. The website didn’t even state any of the sort. No professionalism. I was and still am utterly disappointed.

Instead of having this enthusiasm to meet long-time-no-see friends, I didn’t have any of that. I attributed it to lethargy or even the annoyance I got from not having received replies from the friend who’d invited me along. I had a feeling she could be busy or something. Well, that was of course from common sense...

So, I went to meet my Mama and Sis at Citylink. Somehow or rather, I really didn’t feel like it. Didn’t feel like shopping. I just didn’t fathom why. I attributed it to lethargy, yet again.

Then the most unreasonable and stupidest things of all living Earth called us Shit, when my Mama just casually sat down to rest for a while at this really long, huge and empty bench at the mall. Instead of being normal living things and just sharing the the long, huge and empty bench by sitting at the other 5/6 portion of the bench as he was rushing to it like the usual kiasu old people, he called us Shit, left in a disarrayed manner, shouting nonsensical things along the way about how we snatched the bench from him, all the way to the other end where there was another long, huge but had two motorbike helmets sitting on one half of the bench. As I’d expected, he actually grabbed hold of the two helmets and told the owners to sit somewhere else. Thankfully, the owners were just on their way to leave. Therefore, he did not call them names. Yet, he did so to those who sat down on merely 1/6 of the bench.

What in the Motherly Earth, have old people like him, working in their brains?

My mother, being really insulted by what he just did, walked up to him to talk reason to him. Though, I felt that we shouldn’t create a commotion of whatever lest people who were nearby his bench would think we started it, because they have not plainly seen everything.

I was really gravely disappointed with the fact that this very old man insisted that my Mama snatched the seat from him like a hooligan, when he was in fact the hooligan. He even accused us of bullying an old man who had problems breathing and needed a place to sit. What kind of weak old men with breathing problems, call people names?

And would an old man with difficulties breathing, be hurriedly snatching a bench all to himself just to eat a packet of food? If he really had problems breathing, would he even bother about food? Shouldn’t such a man be instead worrying about his medicine, or even a fan to fan himself, or medicated oil to clear his breathing?

I’ve had breathing problems myself. I know what it’s like.

But I know never to accuse unnecessarily, especially to the public citizens who have done nothing wrong.

Why do I even bother standing in every form of public transport, instead of taking a seat whenever I saw an available one? I had in mind to give way to the hordes of old people taking the same transport. It’s a matter of showing consideration for the elderly. I give way to them, especially to those who really need help. Not to unreasonable people like that Shit-calling man!

I am utterly disgusted that we had to cross paths with a thing like him. Even if you’re old, it doesn’t mean you own the whole world. Look, the world owes you nothing. So why in the world you treat people as if we owe you something?

This is one old man, I hope has real breathing problems, so that he’d think twice before making up stories and accusing people, especially my Mama. To think my Mama has helped so many others before and here she is trying to get a rest herself on just 1/6 of a bench and a greedy selfish man like him had to spoil her day. I hope he lives alone. Then, no one will get hurt by his foul mouth.

Seriously, I felt like giving him a tight slap to make him realise how foul his mouth is. I don’t care how old you are. Once you insult people, I can never respect you as a living thing. Your being old doesn’t mean you’re God — where you are to be treated like the One. Sorry old man, go to another planet please.

Thinking that the planned meeting was a synchronised one and that my friend couldn’t reply to my calls, I asked another, who was going to be there too. Apparently the reply I got back wasn’t very convincing: You also going, huh?

Yeah, I’d thought I wouldn’t be free that’s why I couldn’t promise my other friend. So, I’d thought she’d knew since we’re all friends and meeting out together. Apparently I was wrong. That wrong feeling came to light. I wasn’t invited by the other three. Then it really came crashing down on me. I’d thought we’re friends. It’s true that I don’t get to see them all a lot and don’t really keep in touch cos’ I know some of them do school together. So thinking they’ll still have someone to be with, was consoling in itself since I didn’t. I had to make a bunch of new friends when we all went separate ways after the O’s. I believe the rest did too, though they still had the old ones closer to them. Thinking we were still together, maybe I was wrong after all.

You don’t have to tell me I thought you were busy mah, so I didn’t ask you lor. But you asked the rest. It’s plain insincerity. It’s clearly irony. Real friends don’t do this. To think I respected the very person who said that. I know we’re not as close as I’d hoped. Perhaps it’s due to the adolescence mode of thinking back then. Perhaps it’s cos’ you had closer friends back then. But why this?

It breaks me to know that the only other one I really trust amongst all of them, is now not the one anymore.

I really appreciate the friend who asked me along. I know you mean well and everything, thinking they really want to keep in touch and the sort. But it’s just that clear. If they’d intended for it, they’d have asked me along. Apparently they didn’t. Thanks though, it made me see things clearly.

I don’t really remember how we all started out, perhaps it’s cos’ I got close to the trumpeteer. But somehow along the way, I didn’t like the way she has fun. I really didn’t like the way she thinks it’s funny at the expense of others. That was when I stopped talking to her. I respected that other one a lot because she actually stood up for me when the trouble occurred. I really appreciated it, to a point where I don’t know how to put it into words.

I never really know about all of your lives. I told you mine, though. Guess I had to do the asking, eh? I’d thought it was an initiative on your parts. Real friends don’t have to ask so much. They just tell and keep telling. To me, that is.

Not everyone is me, eh? Let’s just keep it that way. At least I still have one, whom can still share nonsensical and grave issues. It’s two-way. I like this one best.

I just thought I could be listened to, no matter how trivial and at least be interested in what I have to say. Most of the times, that’s not what I really get. People listen, but don’t seem the least interested. I don’t know.

It was a bad day, a real bad day. Some unwanted things came to light. At least it clears the air a bit. I know where to cut the line now. Thanks.

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