Post XX: instincts

February 21, 2006

Why is it that I’m able to feel as if something’s not right or perhaps not going to be executed as planned, before something actually occurs? It’s freaky but also a consolation in itself. Consolation by being there to actually tone down any excitement that I’d have or expect. When the something has happened and the instinct proved to be right, the consolation of having expected the result was really heartfelt. Really helped a lot in the analysing of the whole process. Yeah, it’s just me.

I’d thought that something would be missing yesterday. Yeah physically there was an absentee. So, my disappointment was already expected. As a result, I wasn’t really dampened by it. On the other hand, I did not expect that yesterday would be a whole lot of noise, comfort and let-loose 🙂 I really wore myself out. Entirely. But I felt as if yesterday was the day that I’ve been most myself, for this year that is. Really was a hell of a day. It was a whole load of crap and nonsense and no we weren’t insulted or anything. The trust is there. Really made my day in this whole running race for paper qualification period.

It’s break time right now, but only ’till Thursday. A whole load of crap that is. We’ll see when the guys come in 😀 They’ll finally experience the nonsense we have. Expectations and fees increase as they wish. Without transparency or anything. Without proper documentation (in computing terms). Without real and I mean real justification. What was mentioned wasn’t enough. Just list out all the receipients of bursaries and we’ll see just how many are really being helped. Just how much is really being spent. Just how much is really needed. The joke of it all. It’s like another NKF mania being repeated. I just don’t know what to trust anymore. Even though, this only indirectly affects my life, it really affects being that society is just so hard to trust. In my opinion, it is. Why is money the ultimate thing in this universe? Why?

Who the hell invented money.

Anyway, yesterday was swell. Lol. I just can’t help reminiscing. That’s why I keep repeating. Yup, swell. Love them.


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